Inbox

[cashe]

Ashe here. These things been 'round long enough. Y'know what to do.

D E E R L Y B E L O V E D

Comments

text; un: price is right

[tagartist]

why'd you have to have me with a dude who has the most PAIN IN THE ASS tastes in the world????

[cashe]

Broken condom?

[ Teen pregnancy jokes...there's class. ]

[tagartist]

why do you mock my pain like this what did i do to deserve such cruelty

[cashe]

i'm sorry? Were you expecting some kind of get out of mocking free card because you're my child?

[tagartist]

i am your DAUGHTER and i am SUFFERING!!!!

[cashe]

It'll give you CHARACTER!

[tagartist]

SUPPORT ME, MOTHER

[cashe]

I'll cut you a check for the therapy.

[tagartist]

cool i'll probably spend it on drugs

[cashe]

[ She is getting some funny looks because she just laughed out loud at that one. ]

I'm so proud!

[tagartist]

glad to know what gets marked as high achievements in this family

[cashe]

Well, I can't have you running off to become an upstanding citizen of all things!

[tagartist]

i would never bring such a dishonor on our name

[cashe]

I have worked hard for our legacy. Wanted to make sure you always had food on the table, and designers in your closet.

[tagartist]

and yet i shop at the thrift store or make my own clothes

[cashe]

Yeah...

You get that from your father.

[tagartist]

wow we've come full circle
which brings me back to the point of
fuck dad for liking these stupid ass mexican sugar cookies

[cashe]

So we have!

Yeah! Fuck your daddy! ] [old habits...]

Wait. We are pissed off about sugar cookies?

Here I was hoping that he'd done something I could like tie him up for.

[tagartist]

gross, mom, i don't need to know your kinks

i've been trying to make these fuckers all afternoon and they refuse to cooperate because maine SUCKS

[cashe]

You thought I meant that sexually? I meant it more as payback.
I told you about the time he tied me to the payload right?
That wasn't kinky.
That was rude.

Okay so let me get this straight. You are mad at your father because he likes cookies that you can't make in Maine?
Why not just ask for B.O.B.'s help. He's programed to correct recipes as needed.

[tagartist]

yeah, yeah, your good ol' cowboy stand off, complete with epic staring contests and witty dialogue

I'M NOT GONNA LET THESE FUCKING COOKIES DEFEAT ME, ARE YOU KIDDING

[cashe]

I feel like I may be being made fun of right about now.
You just wish you had an attractive cowboy or girl to stare at before breaking out into a good old fashioned game of chicken.

Bitching while refusing to give up.
You get that from me.

[tagartist]

i mean i can't deny that

i noticed. vaguely gesturing at everything with you and dad.

[cashe]

It was perfect, just the right amount of sarcasm and cutting truth.
Look I'm proud again.

C'mon on, I tried real hard to bitch AND give up on that one.

[tagartist]

bullshit mama, you couldn't even bring yourself to shoot him