Inbox

[cashe]

Ashe here. These things been 'round long enough. Y'know what to do.

D E E R L Y B E L O V E D

Comments

[tagartist]

glad to know what gets marked as high achievements in this family

[cashe]

Well, I can't have you running off to become an upstanding citizen of all things!

[tagartist]

i would never bring such a dishonor on our name

[cashe]

I have worked hard for our legacy. Wanted to make sure you always had food on the table, and designers in your closet.

[tagartist]

and yet i shop at the thrift store or make my own clothes

[cashe]

Yeah...

You get that from your father.

[tagartist]

wow we've come full circle
which brings me back to the point of
fuck dad for liking these stupid ass mexican sugar cookies

[cashe]

So we have!

Yeah! Fuck your daddy! ] [old habits...]

Wait. We are pissed off about sugar cookies?

Here I was hoping that he'd done something I could like tie him up for.

[tagartist]

gross, mom, i don't need to know your kinks

i've been trying to make these fuckers all afternoon and they refuse to cooperate because maine SUCKS

[cashe]

You thought I meant that sexually? I meant it more as payback.
I told you about the time he tied me to the payload right?
That wasn't kinky.
That was rude.

Okay so let me get this straight. You are mad at your father because he likes cookies that you can't make in Maine?
Why not just ask for B.O.B.'s help. He's programed to correct recipes as needed.

[tagartist]

yeah, yeah, your good ol' cowboy stand off, complete with epic staring contests and witty dialogue

I'M NOT GONNA LET THESE FUCKING COOKIES DEFEAT ME, ARE YOU KIDDING

[cashe]

I feel like I may be being made fun of right about now.
You just wish you had an attractive cowboy or girl to stare at before breaking out into a good old fashioned game of chicken.

Bitching while refusing to give up.
You get that from me.

[tagartist]

i mean i can't deny that

i noticed. vaguely gesturing at everything with you and dad.

[cashe]

It was perfect, just the right amount of sarcasm and cutting truth.
Look I'm proud again.

C'mon on, I tried real hard to bitch AND give up on that one.

[tagartist]

bullshit mama, you couldn't even bring yourself to shoot him

[cashe]

You and B.O.B.! I swear to God. Doubting my convictions. Do I half ass anything?

[tagartist]

did you want me to answer that honestly

[cashe]

ANYWAY.

Let's go back to talking about your daddy being a pain in the ass.

[tagartist]

idk i think we should delve more deeply into this topic

[cashe]

Yes.

The topic of your daddy being a pain in the ass.

[tagartist]

i was thinking more the topic of how you pretended you hated him but you definitely did not

[cashe]

Oh no. That was authentic. I am just starting to think maybe you can have more than one feeling for a person.

[tagartist]

you know there is a difference between being angry, hurt, and resentful and full on hating someone
right???
this is important mom, i need to gauge how out of touch you are with the proper spectrum of emotion

[cashe]

[ What the hell? ]

Come on! This is the topic of why I am a pain in the ass.

[tagartist]

well yeah
it is