[ She has been resting in bed since her brush with death, and Chloe's death, and everything else October has thrown at them. Getting a drunk text from a teenager is probably the highlight of an otherwise pretty traumatic month.]
I see my alcohol is being put to real good use. Now let's see if I can break this down. I slaughter many people. Most have never been able to handle me. Happy early birthday. You want a party or something? And if you want to go riding, I'll find a way to get a horse. I've stole a horse before. Well, not me personally, that was McCree, but he made me an accomplice and my parents were too dumb to realize they had an extra horse in their barn, so I have previous experience in the art of horse theft.
well im glad i could cheer you up then :0) did something happen? you dont gotta tell me or anything if you dont want
i like chocolate. i honestly dont know the last time i HAD a birthday cake. last year we were kinda shit out of luck for supplies in november & to be honest with you i was prettty miserable anyway. and the years before that i was in weird places
probably hasnt been since i had my eleventh birthday?
thanks ashe.
ya okay lol parents are definitely that way sometimes. my mom noticed fucking EVERYTHING but richie and bills parents. not so much bills parents used to notice him before everything with his brother happened richies idk he can be screaming and kicking on the floor and his mom will just stare out a window and talk about how much she wishes she had a daughter or some fucked shit like that
I'll let B.O.B. know. Well I got you beat on number of birthdays that have not be celebrated then, but that ain't a competition you should strive to win.
I knew kids in my social circle whose mother's hovered so badly. Helicopter parents. Don't know if they are worse or better than the absentee. Either way they fuck you up. Oh, I remember what that was like! Only they wanted a boy, and all they got was a genetically faulty girl. Which is hardly my fault. I mean I wasn't the one that suggested they splice their DNA, and I certainly didn't tell them to have me. I would have suggested they not have me, because like you said, some people shouldn't have kids.
clearly we should make up for that then. throw a big ass birthday party for both our sakes how old are you anyway pushing 80? :P you look very nice for your age
(He doesn't mean it, of course. He teases anyone over the age of 18 for being ridiculously old- even girls. He always went above and beyond to make it clear he was just kidding though.)
yeah. who knows.
(Eddie knows, but some days he can't talk about it, some days he didn't know how to. In any case Sonia Kaspbrak wasn't exactly just a helicopter parent. No, she was far worse.)
parents are practically designated to fuck up their kids i think. part of the job description or something dont know why parents have kids at all if they're gonna be pissed when it comes out a certain way.
Guess we gotta live with being born against our will lol
[ Oh shit. Is this what that feels like. Did McCree put him up to this? ]
29. Shut your face. It's nanites and staying childless.
[ She's teasing too obviously. ]
Tax benefits. But, another reason to stay childless. May the Ashe family dynasty die with me. Pissing them off further can be kind of fun. I had many ways of doing just that before I just said fuck it and left.
HAHAHA im a natural baby face so i'll be looking like an infant well into my 30s even without nanites cant all be lucky like that i GUESS
my dynasty dies with me. not that the kaspbrak legacy was partcaruly staggering in its existence we're just a bunch of poles who came over on a boat but whatever yeah. i think richie does that a LOT too. i usually just tried to not get my moms attention but like she was always on me and most days if she looked too hard shed just put me into the hospital so discretion was key god knows i snuck out a LOT though to hang out with my friends and richie snuck into my room fuckin at least once a week sometimes more. he was an expert at getting up the side of my house & into my room. fuck he still does it here. & my momma hated ALL of my friends but richie maybe most of all she woulda had a hernia if she knew he was in my bed as much as he was lol this one time she almost caught us and he nearly broke his head open trying to get under my bed in time it was fuckin horrifying
(Eddie............does not think of how any of this might actually sound. But he never seems to. So. Unsurprising. Sometimes he just was transparent without realizing it.)
i guess we all gotta trade off. some of us gotta cut under the radar while others of us have to break it wahts some of the shit you did? let me live vicariously through you getting to have fun with it
I do burn down a lot of things. We could have a bonfire with calendars for kindling if you want. Burn October metaphorically.
It's the white hair that makes me look older. And don't you know it's rude to ask a lady her age. Do I have to smack some manners into you?
Probably a good thing, don't need to give your mama any grandchildren to ruin. Your Mama sounds like a quack. Mine was the opposite, I had to be near death to be considered. When I was real little, she had some garden party, and forgot that you have to reapply sunscreen. I got one nasty bout of sun poisoning and she still complained about leaving the party to get me medical attention while asking a child why she didn't just stay in the shade. Well ain't that adorable. Glad to see you get to carry over the better traditions from home, with no mama around to tell you otherwise. It'll give you a good chance to explore that friendship. And glad to hear it didn't stop you. Sometimes you gotta stand up in the little ways.
It's more what didn't I do. Let's see. I knew real well how to balance their books, so I used to go into their documents and slip in breadcrumbs to made up fraudulent charges. I also used to donate millions to charities that they hated. Oh. Also, we had this wine cellar and one thing rich people love to brag about knowing is their wine and let me say a 50000 dollar bottle of wine does not necessarily taste better than a 20 dollar bottle. So a friend of mine and I would sneak to open the bottles before a party and pour out the expensive wine for the cheap wine. Then we'd hide out and watch as the rich idiots talked about how fine the wine was while drinking glasses of wine that cost about 10 grand a piece ourselves.
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no subject
I see my alcohol is being put to real good use. Now let's see if I can break this down.
I slaughter many people. Most have never been able to handle me.
Happy early birthday. You want a party or something?
And if you want to go riding, I'll find a way to get a horse.
I've stole a horse before.
Well, not me personally, that was McCree, but he made me an accomplice and my parents were too dumb to realize they had an extra horse in their barn, so I have previous experience in the art of horse theft.
no subject
in my defense i blame the moon on half of this being as bad as it was
no i dont want a party. maybe a cake though.
im sure theres ways. we have technology or something.
how do you miss a whole ass horse
no subject
I'll have B.O.B. bake you one. He's an amazing baker and he loves baking cakes, but never gets to do it because I don't like birthday cake much.
I'll be looking into it then.
By being a neglectful son of a bitch.
no subject
i like chocolate. i honestly dont know the last time i HAD a birthday cake. last year we were kinda shit out of luck for supplies in november & to be honest with you i was prettty miserable anyway. and the years before that i was in weird places
probably hasnt been since i had my eleventh birthday?
thanks ashe.
ya okay lol parents are definitely that way sometimes. my mom noticed fucking
EVERYTHING
but richie and bills parents. not so much
bills parents used to notice him before everything with his brother happened
richies idk
he can be screaming and kicking on the floor and his mom will just stare out a window and talk about how much she wishes she had a daughter or some fucked shit like that
idk why some people have kids.
no subject
[ And she misses Chloe. ]
I'll let B.O.B. know.
Well I got you beat on number of birthdays that have not be celebrated then, but that ain't a competition you should strive to win.
I knew kids in my social circle whose mother's hovered so badly. Helicopter parents. Don't know if they are worse or better than the absentee. Either way they fuck you up.
Oh, I remember what that was like! Only they wanted a boy, and all they got was a genetically faulty girl. Which is hardly my fault. I mean I wasn't the one that suggested they splice their DNA, and I certainly didn't tell them to have me. I would have suggested they not have me, because like you said, some people shouldn't have kids.
no subject
clearly we should make up for that then. throw a big ass birthday party for both our sakes
how old are you anyway
pushing 80? :P
you look very nice for your age
(He doesn't mean it, of course. He teases anyone over the age of 18 for being ridiculously old- even girls. He always went above and beyond to make it clear he was just kidding though.)
yeah. who knows.
(Eddie knows, but some days he can't talk about it, some days he didn't know how to. In any case Sonia Kaspbrak wasn't exactly just a helicopter parent. No, she was far worse.)
parents are practically designated to fuck up their kids i think. part of the job description or something
dont know why parents have kids at all if they're gonna be pissed when it comes out a certain way.
Guess we gotta live with being born against our will lol
no subject
[ Oh shit. Is this what that feels like. Did McCree put him up to this? ]
29.
Shut your face.
It's nanites and staying childless.
[ She's teasing too obviously. ]
Tax benefits.
But, another reason to stay childless. May the Ashe family dynasty die with me.
Pissing them off further can be kind of fun. I had many ways of doing just that before I just said fuck it and left.
no subject
HAHAHA
im a natural baby face so i'll be looking like an infant well into my 30s
even without nanites
cant all be lucky like that i GUESS
my dynasty dies with me. not that the kaspbrak legacy was partcaruly staggering in its existence
we're just a bunch of poles who came over on a boat but whatever
yeah. i think richie does that a LOT too.
i usually just tried to not get my moms attention but like
she was always on me and most days if she looked too hard shed just put me into the hospital so discretion was key
god knows i snuck out a LOT though to hang out with my friends
and richie snuck into my room fuckin at least once a week sometimes more. he was an expert at getting up the side of my house & into my room. fuck he still does it here. & my momma hated ALL of my friends but richie maybe most of all she woulda had a hernia if she knew he was in my bed as much as he was lol
this one time she almost caught us and he nearly broke his head open trying to get under my bed in time it was fuckin horrifying
(Eddie............does not think of how any of this might actually sound. But he never seems to. So. Unsurprising. Sometimes he just was transparent without realizing it.)
i guess we all gotta trade off. some of us gotta cut under the radar while others of us have to break it
wahts some of the shit you did? let me live vicariously through you getting to have fun with it
no subject
It's the white hair that makes me look older.
And don't you know it's rude to ask a lady her age. Do I have to smack some manners into you?
Probably a good thing, don't need to give your mama any grandchildren to ruin.
Your Mama sounds like a quack. Mine was the opposite, I had to be near death to be considered. When I was real little, she had some garden party, and forgot that you have to reapply sunscreen. I got one nasty bout of sun poisoning and she still complained about leaving the party to get me medical attention while asking a child why she didn't just stay in the shade.
Well ain't that adorable. Glad to see you get to carry over the better traditions from home, with no mama around to tell you otherwise. It'll give you a good chance to explore that friendship. And glad to hear it didn't stop you. Sometimes you gotta stand up in the little ways.
It's more what didn't I do. Let's see. I knew real well how to balance their books, so I used to go into their documents and slip in breadcrumbs to made up fraudulent charges. I also used to donate millions to charities that they hated. Oh. Also, we had this wine cellar and one thing rich people love to brag about knowing is their wine and let me say a 50000 dollar bottle of wine does not necessarily taste better than a 20 dollar bottle. So a friend of mine and I would sneak to open the bottles before a party and pour out the expensive wine for the cheap wine. Then we'd hide out and watch as the rich idiots talked about how fine the wine was while drinking glasses of wine that cost about 10 grand a piece ourselves.