This was definitely a conversation that layered on the deja vu. Back then, she had been a little naive to the real world before she'd jumped in head first, but she knew both sides now. She appreciated the comforts and the very things he was talking about. It wasn't that she didn't. They'd been building it all back up when he'd been taken, but then there was no dollar amount that could satisfy. That had been the same when she was a child, there was nothing that could be bought that filled her with joy. The only thing her parents had ever bought her that made her truly happy was B.O.B. and he was gone for awhile.
She tries to remember that the things he's saying to her come from a lack of understanding, but they sting all the same. Ashe could still remember the look in his eyes when he'd finally understood why she'd leave it all behind. But here they were again, partly strangers.
If he had his memories he'd know she slept with viper as close as possible. He'd know she was a light sleeper because she was always prepared to wake up with a gun to her face or a quick need to run. People did listen to her but she'd earned that. She pushes off the balcony and heads back into her room and grabs the first class coin.
"Here you want this? You want the key to the other side? With all its fancy toys and three solid meals a day. I'm sure it sounds like fuckin' heaven to you. But I can survive just as well down in steerage, in fact probably better." At least then she would be with the people she was comfortable with, and maybe she could bury her face into his pillow and pretend she was just waiting for him to come home. "But I don't care about any of this. So like I said before, go ahead! Help yourself! Then at least I won't need a damn butler."
Jesse steps partway back into the room after her, stopping at her outburst. Confusion wars with indignation—he hadn’t meant it as an insult! Yet here she is getting all up in arms about it.
“Even if you gave that to me, I’d end up locked in a room somewhere close to the boiler before I could get much use out of it. They’ll think I stole it no matter what you tell the crew. So you keep your damn coin.”
He shuts the doors behind him and considers walking past her to the exit out to the hall. He doesn’t have to put up with this rich girl and her outbursts. Maybe coming in the first place had been a waste of time.
“You should get somebody to look at that chip on your shoulder. Can’t be comfortable.”
He stays right where he’s standing instead, frowning at her, daring her silently to tell him to leave. Because he won’t. He’s no quitter.
And he’s more curious now than ever.
“And for the record, I never said you couldn’t survive down there. Fact is that you don’t have to, and you’re turnin’ your nose up at it like it don’t matter.”
He's right. Right about too much for her comfort level. Jesse knew her well enough to know that right now she was like a caged lioness at the moment. Joel did not, but Jesse did, and she was sure he'd know that Sodder placing her in this situation had her pacing back and forth as if she was in a tiny cage. She was loaded to fight and looking for one. If Sodder wanted to disturb her, she'd been successful. She was even angry at Jesse for forgetting it all even if she knew it wasn't his fault. But when had she ever dealt out blame appropriately.
The coin was pocket and when he mentions the chip on her shoulder she brings one hand up as if to check out what he's talking about. "What...you mean...this chip?" She brought her hand up as if she'd picked something up off her shoulder, only she merely gives him the middle finger. "That the one you're talkin' about?" She glares, but lets her hand drop after the message is sent. Very mature.
A big part of her wants to kick him out and send him on his way. She also knows Jesse and she's just challenged him more or less and she can guess he won't back down. "You don't know anythin' about me. So why don't you just save us both further headache and get lost like the rest of them?"
If Jesse truly remembered himself—and, through extension, her—he’d be a lot more sympathetic. He’d probably have already invited her out of the room with him, and to hell with anyone that didn’t like it.
But things are different now. The one-fingered salute sets him grinning wolfishly, though something in his manner remains wary. Watchful, almost. In the end, he slips his hands into his pockets and shakes his head.
“You want me gone? You fire me. You tell me to leave, and I’ll have to. But I won’t ‘til then.” He takes another look around the room, eyes never stopping but taking it in regardless. The haphazard decadence of it all. The bottles by her bed.
“You don’t know me and I don’t know you, so here’s a little somethin’ for you to think about. I don’t give up easy.” He fixes his roaming gaze back on her. “And I don’t think you are either, so. That’s one thing I know.”
He knew her. Even like this he had her number and at that particular moment with her temper flared and the heaviness between them, she feels trapped. The room is feeling more like a cage and while his presence would be otherwise be welcome, at present it's a staunch reminder of how alone she is at that moment.
She wants nothing more than to fire him, and part of her brain is ordering herself to. It falls flat because she just can't do it. A Jesse that doesn't remember her is still better than no Jesse. Too many times she's sent him away and had to sit in the regret of it, so she can't bring herself to do it this time.
And he's right, she isn't a quitter. Her eyes narrow at him. "Fine! Stay!" In the meantime she couldn't stay. She had to get out and get some fresh air, or do something, anything, to get away from the situation. It was a damn shame it was a boat and there really was no getting away. At least she can go for a walk and clear her head. She grabs her pack of cigarettes off the table and stuffs them into her pocket and heads for the door. "Clean the place if you're so eager!" She opens the door just about to close it before she sticks her head back in.
"But the rubies are off limits!" It was really just a reminder that she had his number too. Then she slams the door and vacates the situation, at least for a little while.
His angry retort gets cut off by the slamming of the door, and he’s left standing there feeling completely off-balance. This wasn’t how he expected this to go. In so many ways.
For a minute, he debates the pros and cons of all his options. Stay, go. Steal, don’t. Clean, don’t.
In the end, he chooses to stay. He doesn’t steal anything, though he takes a careful mental inventory of what he finds, and he isn’t shy about rifling around. And when Ashe eventually does return to the room later, it will be noticeably neater than when she left.
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no subject
She tries to remember that the things he's saying to her come from a lack of understanding, but they sting all the same. Ashe could still remember the look in his eyes when he'd finally understood why she'd leave it all behind. But here they were again, partly strangers.
If he had his memories he'd know she slept with viper as close as possible. He'd know she was a light sleeper because she was always prepared to wake up with a gun to her face or a quick need to run. People did listen to her but she'd earned that. She pushes off the balcony and heads back into her room and grabs the first class coin.
"Here you want this? You want the key to the other side? With all its fancy toys and three solid meals a day. I'm sure it sounds like fuckin' heaven to you. But I can survive just as well down in steerage, in fact probably better." At least then she would be with the people she was comfortable with, and maybe she could bury her face into his pillow and pretend she was just waiting for him to come home. "But I don't care about any of this. So like I said before, go ahead! Help yourself! Then at least I won't need a damn butler."
no subject
“Even if you gave that to me, I’d end up locked in a room somewhere close to the boiler before I could get much use out of it. They’ll think I stole it no matter what you tell the crew. So you keep your damn coin.”
He shuts the doors behind him and considers walking past her to the exit out to the hall. He doesn’t have to put up with this rich girl and her outbursts. Maybe coming in the first place had been a waste of time.
“You should get somebody to look at that chip on your shoulder. Can’t be comfortable.”
He stays right where he’s standing instead, frowning at her, daring her silently to tell him to leave. Because he won’t. He’s no quitter.
And he’s more curious now than ever.
“And for the record, I never said you couldn’t survive down there. Fact is that you don’t have to, and you’re turnin’ your nose up at it like it don’t matter.”
no subject
The coin was pocket and when he mentions the chip on her shoulder she brings one hand up as if to check out what he's talking about. "What...you mean...this chip?" She brought her hand up as if she'd picked something up off her shoulder, only she merely gives him the middle finger. "That the one you're talkin' about?" She glares, but lets her hand drop after the message is sent. Very mature.
A big part of her wants to kick him out and send him on his way. She also knows Jesse and she's just challenged him more or less and she can guess he won't back down. "You don't know anythin' about me. So why don't you just save us both further headache and get lost like the rest of them?"
no subject
But things are different now. The one-fingered salute sets him grinning wolfishly, though something in his manner remains wary. Watchful, almost. In the end, he slips his hands into his pockets and shakes his head.
“You want me gone? You fire me. You tell me to leave, and I’ll have to. But I won’t ‘til then.” He takes another look around the room, eyes never stopping but taking it in regardless. The haphazard decadence of it all. The bottles by her bed.
“You don’t know me and I don’t know you, so here’s a little somethin’ for you to think about. I don’t give up easy.” He fixes his roaming gaze back on her. “And I don’t think you are either, so. That’s one thing I know.”
no subject
She wants nothing more than to fire him, and part of her brain is ordering herself to. It falls flat because she just can't do it. A Jesse that doesn't remember her is still better than no Jesse. Too many times she's sent him away and had to sit in the regret of it, so she can't bring herself to do it this time.
And he's right, she isn't a quitter. Her eyes narrow at him. "Fine! Stay!" In the meantime she couldn't stay. She had to get out and get some fresh air, or do something, anything, to get away from the situation. It was a damn shame it was a boat and there really was no getting away. At least she can go for a walk and clear her head. She grabs her pack of cigarettes off the table and stuffs them into her pocket and heads for the door. "Clean the place if you're so eager!" She opens the door just about to close it before she sticks her head back in.
"But the rubies are off limits!" It was really just a reminder that she had his number too. Then she slams the door and vacates the situation, at least for a little while.
no subject
His angry retort gets cut off by the slamming of the door, and he’s left standing there feeling completely off-balance. This wasn’t how he expected this to go. In so many ways.
For a minute, he debates the pros and cons of all his options. Stay, go. Steal, don’t. Clean, don’t.
In the end, he chooses to stay. He doesn’t steal anything, though he takes a careful mental inventory of what he finds, and he isn’t shy about rifling around. And when Ashe eventually does return to the room later, it will be noticeably neater than when she left.