[First response to her potential happiness is misery. Max cringes at those words. And others too - afraid of her not needing you, and lying to yourself bout having no choice... the list goes on.]
That wasn't my first- I didn't-...
[She doesn't look Ashe in the eye. She remembers telling Chloe about Wonderland... about dying and waking up alone... about her best friends leaving one by one... and Chloe...]
I don't care if she needs me or not. I don't! But we- we promised we'd be there for each other, and... I d-don't want her to go. I don't want her to leave. I don't want to be-
[alone again
Her tone takes a sharper edge.]
Stop it. I know what you're doing. You're just... baiting me. Don't- Don't pretend to understand what I can do- what I had to! Like fuck I had a choice - Don't pretend it was like- like any other choice in the world! Whatever I did there, whatever I decided, it was going to be terrible, and it still is terrible, and don't pretend I can just... discard that like it's nothing! You're saying all this bullshit, pretending you know what I went through, what I'm feeling now!
[Her face is flushed and her voice raised.]
You want to talk about second chances? You want to talk about fresh starts? Well this is mine! And I know I'm fucking it up. But now you just want me to- to let it go with a smile on my face because-
[For Chloe's sake - so she can be happy.]
Fine! [And now there's tears spilling from her eyes.] Fine! You want to me to let go of who I am - to give up hoping for the kind of future I want - to gladly accept that Chloe doesn't remember me - so she can be happy. Fine, Ashe. I get it. I get who the priority is - who it always is when I'm here. Fine! Fuck how Max feels!
[And she slams down on the button to end the ca. The feed ends abruptly, with a sharp jolt and then silence.
If Ashe wants to find her in person, she's probably seen enough from the video to know that Max is at home.]
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That wasn't my first- I didn't-...
[She doesn't look Ashe in the eye. She remembers telling Chloe about Wonderland... about dying and waking up alone... about her best friends leaving one by one... and Chloe...]
I don't care if she needs me or not. I don't! But we- we promised we'd be there for each other, and... I d-don't want her to go. I don't want her to leave. I don't want to be-
[alone again
Her tone takes a sharper edge.]
Stop it. I know what you're doing. You're just... baiting me. Don't- Don't pretend to understand what I can do- what I had to! Like fuck I had a choice - Don't pretend it was like- like any other choice in the world! Whatever I did there, whatever I decided, it was going to be terrible, and it still is terrible, and don't pretend I can just... discard that like it's nothing! You're saying all this bullshit, pretending you know what I went through, what I'm feeling now!
[Her face is flushed and her voice raised.]
You want to talk about second chances? You want to talk about fresh starts? Well this is mine! And I know I'm fucking it up. But now you just want me to- to let it go with a smile on my face because-
[For Chloe's sake - so she can be happy.]
Fine! [And now there's tears spilling from her eyes.] Fine! You want to me to let go of who I am - to give up hoping for the kind of future I want - to gladly accept that Chloe doesn't remember me - so she can be happy. Fine, Ashe. I get it. I get who the priority is - who it always is when I'm here. Fine! Fuck how Max feels!
[And she slams down on the button to end the ca. The feed ends abruptly, with a sharp jolt and then silence.
If Ashe wants to find her in person, she's probably seen enough from the video to know that Max is at home.]