The thought of leaving him to deal with authorities if he betrayed her almost made her laugh. If she felt betrayed again, she'd jail him in her personal prison, or, she told herself, finally shoot him. "Handing you over to the cops would be a holiday vacation compared to what I'd do with you if you betray us." She was bitter and hurt and filled with anger over a past she couldn't control. It was a contrast to what she'd been with him when they were younger. While still angry, she'd been happy and warm and even outright affectionate. Sometimes she thought she would have preferred to have gone out together with him in a huge dramatic battle, rather than grow apart.
What he was saying though made enough sense, and they weren't the law so she wasn't breaking any of her guidelines. Jesse was still a wanted criminal so if she said her piece to the gang, they'd accept him. The idea still didn't settle well, but they could work it out under the guise of a trial basis. It wasn't like gang members never came crawling back and begging for forgiveness. Some might even be happy that the war between Jesse and Ashe was potentially ending.
Still, she could think of some issues. Finally she turned the chair towards him and looked at him with the same look she always entered into negotiations with; cold, calculating, but full of consideration. "There are a lot more issues that could arise that I don't think you are fully thinkin' about. Say I accept this little endeavor of yours and I let you back into Deadlock, it would be on a trial basis. Some of the team remembers the old days still, and they would be more welcomin' than I would, but you ain't stayin'. This is all a ruse you and Overwatch have crafted up and when you get what you want, you'll leave us behind again. Your absence caused enough damage the first time, you're willin' to break apart the family again? I know you and you're charmin' demeanor, they'll get attached, 'cause you manage to make everyone love you somehow. Will it mean anythin' to you to abandon us? Another thing, they can't ever know you're infiltrating, because then you'll make me look bad and I don't like lookin' bad in front of my family."
She checked off some of the issues on her fingers, thinking of each thing that he really needed to consider before jumping back into bed with them. "On top of the damage you could potentially do, you'd be making me go back on my rules, so how are we goin' to explain that one away? 'Cause people are gonna wonder what's so special about you that I'd forgive you after all these years and wrongs." Looking at him, she wondered if he even had it in him to be a Deadlock Rebel anymore. "You'll also be committing crime again, because you'll have to play the role completely. No stayin' at home if you're the best man for the job. Clearly you ain't worried about killin' to get what you want, but are you gonna be okay not playin' the hero?"
There was just one more thing that she could think of, though other questions would potentially crop up. "And finally, what's in it for me? Why should I let you back into my life and into the family we built together? And I ain't interested in money or threats, so leave those propositions off the table."
Far as Jesse is concerned, that look on her face is a good sign. Means she’s taking this seriously, and that she just might not blow him off after all.
“You wouldn’t want me to stay even if this wasn’t an Overwatch mission,” he points out. He got the message loud and clear the last time: you aren’t welcome here. Likewise, he’d made it clear he didn’t want to stay. But he knows what she means. “I’ll have to get in close with the team to find your rat. Can’t be helped, but what’s worse: a few hurt feelings, or the crew gettin’ assassinated or brainwashed into drones?” Harsh, maybe, but it’s the reality of the situation.
He considers the rest of her points, mulling it over as he keeps eye-contact with her. This is a negotiation, of a kind, and he can’t appear wishy-washy or unsure. Confidence, that’s always the name of the game.
“We can set this up like you’re the one usin’ me. Say you’ve got blackmail material over my head. Maybe you need me for somethin’ specific, and it was worth callin’ me in for.” He’s not afraid of any potential blow to his reputation, clearly. Hard to damage something already that beat to hell. “And I don’t know what you think I’ve been doin’ since I got roped into Deadlock, but I’ve been breakin’ the law just about every day since then. Look at my bounty: nobody thinks I’m any hero. Deadlock couldn’t ask me to do much worse than what I’ve already done.”
The news hadn’t gotten their hands Blackwatch’s files, and their reports on the black ops side of Overwatch had barely scratched the surface. Assassination. Kidnapping. Framing people for crimes they didn’t commit. Sowing political unrest. The list goes on.
The last question gets a raised eyebrow out of him, and looks away from her only to finish off his drink.
“The threat of losin’ Deadlock ain’t enough? What’s in it for you is your gang in one piece, but past that… I suppose it’s a matter of what you want.” He locks eyes with her again, dead serious. “Name it.”
Likewise, she stays neutral and doesn't falter much in her features or voice. This is one of the most important negotiations of her life, and she wanted to do it right. Ashe wasn't about to point out the fact that she only kicked him out because he was making it clear he didn't want to come back. It wasn't in her nature to give anyone an opportunity to break her heart, so she had cut the conversation and their relationship before he could. Silently, she still suffered with it, letting it fuel her anger each time he did something she felt was a slight against her honor.
"No, you don't want to come back, you made that clear." A fault of hers was refusing to own it. She held up a hand before he could argue. "But that's neither here nor there right now, so stay on task." As if he was the one at fault for bringing that piece up in the first place. She never had been an easy woman.
She gives the matter further thought and shakes her head. "No. I want you to beg, in front of people for forgiveness. Whether it's fake or not, I want a goddamn apology. I want you to make my team believe you can't think of anywhere else you'd rather be than with us. If you can convince them, then I'll let you back in to do your work under a few conditions." She began to check things off on her fingers. "One. I take the damn lead on this. You're right you are not a hero, and I will allow you to assist me in this issue, but you sure as hell won't be bossin' me around. You can make suggestions and offer guidance but I get the final say. Also, You will have contact with Overwatch like you said and only under my watchful eye. You will be cut off, unless I say otherwise. You do what I say, when I say it. Behave and I'll let you work with me."
The whole business hurt, especially when he was so critical of Deadlock yet so fond of Blackwatch. If he'd been doing such awful things with them, then why did he hate her and the gang so much. Whether these were truths or lies they were feelings that got lost in the mix and she believed that he had rejected her. When everyone she'd ever loved had done the same, it triggered a pain she did not know how to deal with through anything other than aggression and anger.
Then there was the matter of what she wanted. "I want a couple of things. One, you will not ever use me again the way you did with our last heist. You don't ever take my things again. And when I tell you to listen to me you listen. Finally, I get an IOU. I can call on you or your team whenever for whatever I may need. Tit for tat sweetheart. So do you want into the game, or is the price too steep."
Jesse isn’t pleased and his frown, though thoughtful, says as much. He’d known she’d make demands, had even suspected they’d border on outlandish. Him begging the team’s forgiveness isn’t something he’d imagined though when he pictured her using this to get even.
“Can’t argue with most of that. This is your turf, so we play by your rules.” Even if it sounds a little like he’ll be playing the role of one of her henchmen. He’s willing. His pride doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, so that isn’t the problem.
“Two speed bumps in those conditions though. This here, this agreement? It’s not between me and the whole gang. It’s between the two of us. You callin’ up Overwatch has to be the same, because the brass over there wouldn’t take kindly to you askin’ for a favor. But they can’t object to what they don’t know about.”
It’s hard enough for some of them to accept the existence of Blackwatch and Jesse’s presence with the newly formed Overwatch. If he starts bringing in outside criminal elements, it could fracture their fragile alliance even more. Things are rocky enough.
“And the second bump… you don’t think that’ll hurt the gang more, me puttin’ on that big of a show? I’ll do it, if that’s what you want. Though I don’t see what I’d rightly be apologizin’ for.”
Not coming back to Deadlock? The heist? Could be those or a half a dozen other things besides.
He had some points and she hated it. That was one of the things though that had made them so good together, they knew how to go back and forth until a proper plan was set in place. The issue they were facing at the moment wasn't going to have an easy solution.
It seemed he was on board with at least some of it. She didn't necessarily want him to be her henchman, she just wanted to make sure that he would allow her to be in charge, rather than come in assuming he could run the thing better. It was a pride thing for her and she always had been extremely afraid of losing control, and his loss had made her that much more afraid of having what she loved taken away. Though she couldn't really care less about the rest of Overwatch, she liked having Jesse owe her one. "You're sayin' that Overwatch isn't pullin' the strings of you bein' here? They didn't send you into my territory?" Then why would he come back to the gang then; certainly there were no more feelings on his end of things. She simply assumed that Jesse was chosen for this particular Overwatch mission because he knew how Deadlock worked.
"Now I'll get to that long list of things you should be apologizin' for in a minute, but before that, I need to know whether Overwatch is involved in this matter or not. Because if they are, then it ain't just you and me, it's Deadlock and Overwatch. If they want to use my resources to capture some Talon agent, then the brass over their ain't that bothered by workin' with me."
It’s complicated, just like how it had been back in the day with Blackwatch. They’d been Overwatch’s shadow, had worked on their behalf, but they did it their way and kept their own secrets. The fact that he’s doing much of the same thing now doesn’t sit entirely well with Jesse. Isn’t this all he’s ever done, moving from one group to the next, walking that razor’s edge between independence and subservience? Oh, but it is not the time for thinking like that.
“Overwatch is involved, though comin’ here was my idea. What I mean is…” He holds up his hands, palms up, lifting and lowering them as if they were part of a scale. “Way we’re comin’ to you now, it’s me on behalf of Overwatch. Deadlock doesn’t know except for you.” He lowers one hand, then raises the other. “It’d have to be the same the other way around to be balanced, right? You comin’ to me on behalf of Deadlock. Overwatch doesn’t know.” He lets his hands drop.
“They’d help you out within reason, but some of our team… they don’t realize what it might take to neutralize Talon. And if they won’t do dirty work for that, I can’t guarantee they’ll do whatever it is you want them to. Some of ‘em wouldn’t have any problem helpin’ you secure a route for runnin’ guns through Arizona. Some of the others wouldn’t have it. But again—what they know won’t hurt ‘em. I’ve got more security clearances than most of them anyway. I can get you whatever you ask for.”
If she knew the full extent of it, she may have had a little more compassion for him. It hangs in the air unaddressed though and she keeps her focus on the negotiations. The clarification helps, and she can see his side of things regarding that. "Okay, fine. I hear what you're saying, and I agree to that." The other part is something that's at the heart of the issue she's having with Jesse. Overwatch is willing to turn a blind eye to their crimes so long as they don't fully realize what it takes. She's never had trouble taking the burden of the heat, but there was a reason that many of the cops kept a distance from her and that's because half the time she's taking out the other trash.
"Hypocrisy at its best, right?" It was making her start to crave another cigarette. It could get exhausting doing the dirty work, while others received praise. At least Elizabeth Ashe was no stranger to taking the blame. "If your little group of vigilantes wants to accomplish anything, they'd better start understandin' that you can't protect without gettin' as ugly as the enemy. I seem to recall you understandin' that though. If they want to prevent an all out world war, they'd better start expectin' a Talon war. No wonder you decided to show up and get into the mud, you never minded gettin' your hands dirty. I'll be better off goin' through you for whatever I may need anyway."
With that matter handled, she moved on to the next question he'd brought up. "I don't know whether that would hurt my team more or less. I don't think it would matter too much in the end. I just want to see you beg to come back." The scenario she'd held a glimmer of hope for in her subconscious. "And the list of apologies you owe us is endless. For the heist, for stealin' my bike, for leavin' me behind and never lookin' back. For doin' worse acts of crime, but judgin' what I did in your absence to survive. For rejectin' your family. For rejectin'..." me but she trails off on that one because she can't say it and tries to think of something to add. "...Deadlock and our way of things. The very things you helped create. I may have become leader, but I followed you into this life and now you think you are better than us..." She was starting to feel emotionally, and finally she had to stand again and get another nicotine hit.
Once she breathes in the smoke on her new cigarette she closes her eyes. "It doesn't matter what, you gotta let them know you're sorry. You hurt them. I can tell them that I'm usin' you if you want, but they'll only accept you if they think you're one of them. And this has to look natural for you to get friendly with Deadlock again. Not to mention the other gangs. Even if you don't fuckin' mean it, you gotta make them think you do." She wanted to believe it. Believe that he cared enough to feel sorry for all the pain he caused her, and it pissed her off that he could so easily brush off the things he'd done either willfully or accidentally to them.
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What he was saying though made enough sense, and they weren't the law so she wasn't breaking any of her guidelines. Jesse was still a wanted criminal so if she said her piece to the gang, they'd accept him. The idea still didn't settle well, but they could work it out under the guise of a trial basis. It wasn't like gang members never came crawling back and begging for forgiveness. Some might even be happy that the war between Jesse and Ashe was potentially ending.
Still, she could think of some issues. Finally she turned the chair towards him and looked at him with the same look she always entered into negotiations with; cold, calculating, but full of consideration. "There are a lot more issues that could arise that I don't think you are fully thinkin' about. Say I accept this little endeavor of yours and I let you back into Deadlock, it would be on a trial basis. Some of the team remembers the old days still, and they would be more welcomin' than I would, but you ain't stayin'. This is all a ruse you and Overwatch have crafted up and when you get what you want, you'll leave us behind again. Your absence caused enough damage the first time, you're willin' to break apart the family again? I know you and you're charmin' demeanor, they'll get attached, 'cause you manage to make everyone love you somehow. Will it mean anythin' to you to abandon us? Another thing, they can't ever know you're infiltrating, because then you'll make me look bad and I don't like lookin' bad in front of my family."
She checked off some of the issues on her fingers, thinking of each thing that he really needed to consider before jumping back into bed with them. "On top of the damage you could potentially do, you'd be making me go back on my rules, so how are we goin' to explain that one away? 'Cause people are gonna wonder what's so special about you that I'd forgive you after all these years and wrongs." Looking at him, she wondered if he even had it in him to be a Deadlock Rebel anymore. "You'll also be committing crime again, because you'll have to play the role completely. No stayin' at home if you're the best man for the job. Clearly you ain't worried about killin' to get what you want, but are you gonna be okay not playin' the hero?"
There was just one more thing that she could think of, though other questions would potentially crop up. "And finally, what's in it for me? Why should I let you back into my life and into the family we built together? And I ain't interested in money or threats, so leave those propositions off the table."
no subject
“You wouldn’t want me to stay even if this wasn’t an Overwatch mission,” he points out. He got the message loud and clear the last time: you aren’t welcome here. Likewise, he’d made it clear he didn’t want to stay. But he knows what she means. “I’ll have to get in close with the team to find your rat. Can’t be helped, but what’s worse: a few hurt feelings, or the crew gettin’ assassinated or brainwashed into drones?” Harsh, maybe, but it’s the reality of the situation.
He considers the rest of her points, mulling it over as he keeps eye-contact with her. This is a negotiation, of a kind, and he can’t appear wishy-washy or unsure. Confidence, that’s always the name of the game.
“We can set this up like you’re the one usin’ me. Say you’ve got blackmail material over my head. Maybe you need me for somethin’ specific, and it was worth callin’ me in for.” He’s not afraid of any potential blow to his reputation, clearly. Hard to damage something already that beat to hell. “And I don’t know what you think I’ve been doin’ since I got roped into Deadlock, but I’ve been breakin’ the law just about every day since then. Look at my bounty: nobody thinks I’m any hero. Deadlock couldn’t ask me to do much worse than what I’ve already done.”
The news hadn’t gotten their hands Blackwatch’s files, and their reports on the black ops side of Overwatch had barely scratched the surface. Assassination. Kidnapping. Framing people for crimes they didn’t commit. Sowing political unrest. The list goes on.
The last question gets a raised eyebrow out of him, and looks away from her only to finish off his drink.
“The threat of losin’ Deadlock ain’t enough? What’s in it for you is your gang in one piece, but past that… I suppose it’s a matter of what you want.” He locks eyes with her again, dead serious. “Name it.”
no subject
"No, you don't want to come back, you made that clear." A fault of hers was refusing to own it. She held up a hand before he could argue. "But that's neither here nor there right now, so stay on task." As if he was the one at fault for bringing that piece up in the first place. She never had been an easy woman.
She gives the matter further thought and shakes her head. "No. I want you to beg, in front of people for forgiveness. Whether it's fake or not, I want a goddamn apology. I want you to make my team believe you can't think of anywhere else you'd rather be than with us. If you can convince them, then I'll let you back in to do your work under a few conditions." She began to check things off on her fingers. "One. I take the damn lead on this. You're right you are not a hero, and I will allow you to assist me in this issue, but you sure as hell won't be bossin' me around. You can make suggestions and offer guidance but I get the final say. Also, You will have contact with Overwatch like you said and only under my watchful eye. You will be cut off, unless I say otherwise. You do what I say, when I say it. Behave and I'll let you work with me."
The whole business hurt, especially when he was so critical of Deadlock yet so fond of Blackwatch. If he'd been doing such awful things with them, then why did he hate her and the gang so much. Whether these were truths or lies they were feelings that got lost in the mix and she believed that he had rejected her. When everyone she'd ever loved had done the same, it triggered a pain she did not know how to deal with through anything other than aggression and anger.
Then there was the matter of what she wanted. "I want a couple of things. One, you will not ever use me again the way you did with our last heist. You don't ever take my things again. And when I tell you to listen to me you listen. Finally, I get an IOU. I can call on you or your team whenever for whatever I may need. Tit for tat sweetheart. So do you want into the game, or is the price too steep."
no subject
“Can’t argue with most of that. This is your turf, so we play by your rules.” Even if it sounds a little like he’ll be playing the role of one of her henchmen. He’s willing. His pride doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, so that isn’t the problem.
“Two speed bumps in those conditions though. This here, this agreement? It’s not between me and the whole gang. It’s between the two of us. You callin’ up Overwatch has to be the same, because the brass over there wouldn’t take kindly to you askin’ for a favor. But they can’t object to what they don’t know about.”
It’s hard enough for some of them to accept the existence of Blackwatch and Jesse’s presence with the newly formed Overwatch. If he starts bringing in outside criminal elements, it could fracture their fragile alliance even more. Things are rocky enough.
“And the second bump… you don’t think that’ll hurt the gang more, me puttin’ on that big of a show? I’ll do it, if that’s what you want. Though I don’t see what I’d rightly be apologizin’ for.”
Not coming back to Deadlock? The heist? Could be those or a half a dozen other things besides.
no subject
It seemed he was on board with at least some of it. She didn't necessarily want him to be her henchman, she just wanted to make sure that he would allow her to be in charge, rather than come in assuming he could run the thing better. It was a pride thing for her and she always had been extremely afraid of losing control, and his loss had made her that much more afraid of having what she loved taken away. Though she couldn't really care less about the rest of Overwatch, she liked having Jesse owe her one. "You're sayin' that Overwatch isn't pullin' the strings of you bein' here? They didn't send you into my territory?" Then why would he come back to the gang then; certainly there were no more feelings on his end of things. She simply assumed that Jesse was chosen for this particular Overwatch mission because he knew how Deadlock worked.
"Now I'll get to that long list of things you should be apologizin' for in a minute, but before that, I need to know whether Overwatch is involved in this matter or not. Because if they are, then it ain't just you and me, it's Deadlock and Overwatch. If they want to use my resources to capture some Talon agent, then the brass over their ain't that bothered by workin' with me."
no subject
“Overwatch is involved, though comin’ here was my idea. What I mean is…” He holds up his hands, palms up, lifting and lowering them as if they were part of a scale. “Way we’re comin’ to you now, it’s me on behalf of Overwatch. Deadlock doesn’t know except for you.” He lowers one hand, then raises the other. “It’d have to be the same the other way around to be balanced, right? You comin’ to me on behalf of Deadlock. Overwatch doesn’t know.” He lets his hands drop.
“They’d help you out within reason, but some of our team… they don’t realize what it might take to neutralize Talon. And if they won’t do dirty work for that, I can’t guarantee they’ll do whatever it is you want them to. Some of ‘em wouldn’t have any problem helpin’ you secure a route for runnin’ guns through Arizona. Some of the others wouldn’t have it. But again—what they know won’t hurt ‘em. I’ve got more security clearances than most of them anyway. I can get you whatever you ask for.”
no subject
"Hypocrisy at its best, right?" It was making her start to crave another cigarette. It could get exhausting doing the dirty work, while others received praise. At least Elizabeth Ashe was no stranger to taking the blame. "If your little group of vigilantes wants to accomplish anything, they'd better start understandin' that you can't protect without gettin' as ugly as the enemy. I seem to recall you understandin' that though. If they want to prevent an all out world war, they'd better start expectin' a Talon war. No wonder you decided to show up and get into the mud, you never minded gettin' your hands dirty. I'll be better off goin' through you for whatever I may need anyway."
With that matter handled, she moved on to the next question he'd brought up. "I don't know whether that would hurt my team more or less. I don't think it would matter too much in the end. I just want to see you beg to come back." The scenario she'd held a glimmer of hope for in her subconscious. "And the list of apologies you owe us is endless. For the heist, for stealin' my bike, for leavin' me behind and never lookin' back. For doin' worse acts of crime, but judgin' what I did in your absence to survive. For rejectin' your family. For rejectin'..." me but she trails off on that one because she can't say it and tries to think of something to add. "...Deadlock and our way of things. The very things you helped create. I may have become leader, but I followed you into this life and now you think you are better than us..." She was starting to feel emotionally, and finally she had to stand again and get another nicotine hit.
Once she breathes in the smoke on her new cigarette she closes her eyes. "It doesn't matter what, you gotta let them know you're sorry. You hurt them. I can tell them that I'm usin' you if you want, but they'll only accept you if they think you're one of them. And this has to look natural for you to get friendly with Deadlock again. Not to mention the other gangs. Even if you don't fuckin' mean it, you gotta make them think you do." She wanted to believe it. Believe that he cared enough to feel sorry for all the pain he caused her, and it pissed her off that he could so easily brush off the things he'd done either willfully or accidentally to them.